Thank heaven Friday has finally appeared, and 5 pm has passed. (I’m actually supposed to get off work at 3:30, but there is never a guarantee for that.) The quiet solitude of my own, currently empty, home and a little internet therapy are much welcome. Okay, I’m not really sure that the internet can serve as therapy, but whatever, its been a long week.
I believe that I’ve mentioned before that I’m in social work, but more specifically a residential facility. I work in our school, and spend most of my day with the same lovely ladies every day. Sometimes this is a great thing. I’m a constant for them and no matter what their feelings towards me, I am always there and always going to be the same. Sometimes this is a bad thing. The girls get tired of me, and know how to push my buttons. Worse though is how completely drained I feel right now, and how much it bothers me to know that I was so worn down by the end of this week, that I don’t really feel like I was doing a good job today.
So there’s the set up, or as good as it gets for now. At 1:00 pm I attended a meeting that included a team of Behavior Analyst Consultants. These folks have been brought in to analyze the behaviors of one of my kiddos and make suggestions to help us help her. The good and bad news is that they suggested pretty much what I already do. Amazing! I should feel good, I should feel validated, and yet I came away from that meeting feeling frustrated. Yes, they still had some other good suggestions (minor), and yes the fact is that the kid has responded to this, shall we say, technique in that she has shown improved behaviors in school. Still its difficult for me to think that I’m doing this right, and there are still so many times when I can’t “fix” things.
Now I know, rationally, that it’s not really my job to “fix” her or her problems. Honestly, my job is only to empower her with the right tools, to plant the seed and wait for it to grow. Those of you in social work know that is just how it works, but knowing doesn’t really stop us from feeling like we should be able to “fix” people and their problems, and while we’re at, why can’t we save the world?
Moving along, so I went back to the office, wrote some reports, hoped they were all the ones I needed to write and then promptly forgot to send my emails. I left work and stopped off at McDonald’s where I ordered a cup of coffee and almost forgot that I take cream in my coffee. Large coffee, two cream…this is not the first time I have ever ordered coffee at this place, in fact I’m there almost every day! Geez!! Well at least I cracked up the guy taking the orders.
Oh weekend, how I love you and the much needed rest you will bring.
Take care of yourselves!!!